The Fate of Every Man.

" It is better to spend your time at funerals than at festivals. For you are going to die, and you should think about it while there is still time. Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. A wise person thinks much about death, while the fool thinks only about having a good time now." - (NLT)

Many people have been dying.

The deaths have been a wake up call for me.

To start living while I am living.

At times I get a little frustrated with myself.

I wonder if I'm growing in God.

Is God for me?

Am I for God?

Am I abiding in God and is He taking root in me?

Death causes us to revvaluate the important things in life.

We can take nothing with us when we leave this world.

Death humbles us in who we really are.

This quote rings a bell: "And at once I knew I was not magnificent " -(Bon Iver, Holocene)

God is the magnificent One.

he decides if we even get to breathe another breath.

Humbling, isn't it?

The God of teh universe sustains everything in this world and even little ol' me.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life beating myself up for all of my failures.

As long as I'm living I will believe that God still has hope for me.

That, yes, He does love me.

He's shed His grace on me.

Just like the scriptures say: "It's better to be a live dog than a dead lion!" -(Ecclesiastes 9:4)

There is hope for me.

God please be with me.

No one will ever understand me.

They can't.

But you do.

Be with me in all my of endless numbered days....Selah.

These words mean so much to me right now...

“Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you're afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters.”

― John Green

There's a time for everything.
It's time for me to speak.

Who Am I Really?

All my life I've been trained to be a certain way.

I wasn't allowed to express myself and anytime that I would try to express myself I would be shot down.

This continued for years and eventually I became increasingly quiet and shy.

Naturally, I'm a a very reserved person BUT over the years I've become more guarded.

I've developed  a relationship with God. It hasn't been the best and I believe a lot of it has to do with my guard being up all the time.

I'm always shot down for being myself and I don't want to deal with that anymore.

The people I admire the most are those that are true to themselves.

People who have the courage to express themselves even if they are labeled as "crazy".

There's a part of me that I have trouble bringing to the light.

That part of me is the real ME.

I don't reveal my TRUE to self because of fear of being shot down, rejected and ridiculed.

I have to let go of fear. I have to shoot fear down.

The real me is begging to come out but I have prevented her.

I know her.

She's beautiful, sensual, compassionate and an ambitious dreamer.

She's unique and filled with a tremendous amount of purpose.

People may not understand me but I'm through people pleasing.

Here's to you mothers and fathers that allowed your child to experience the great joy of freedom!
Here's to you mothers and fathers that bring up your child to see the beauty in themselves!
Here's to you mothers and fathers that bestow on your children the great ability to freely love another life than your own!
Here's to you mothers and fathers that are wise enough to know that love and trust are the keys to a beautiful home!
Here's to you mothers and fathers that quickly see the gift of life that God has given them. That their child belongs to God first!
Here's to mothers and fathers that train up their child in the Lord's ways!
Here's to you mothers and fathers that never saw the shame in speaking words of love!
Here's you mothers and fathers that saw the destruction in speaking wounding words to their child!
Here's to mothers and fathers that took the time to understand the ways of their child instead of ridiculing!
Here's to you mothers and fathers that believed in the dreams of you child and encouraged them!
Here's to you mothers and fathers that saw the beauty in loving in seasons of bad and in seasons of good.
Here's to you!
Yes here's to you.
The love
encouragement...
kindness...
patience...
and acceptance that you have bestowed will remain forever.